Sam,
Your description of how your uncle related to you encapsulates the essence of what relationships are about in my view. Your mention of ‘being a difficult man at times… and wasn’t easy to live with’ resonates strong with me. Of the many conversations I have had with young people who had previously been involved in the criminal justice system and in their words ‘have made it’, I would consistently hear in answer to my question [What do you think made the greatest difference?], ‘someone believed in me.” Often that someone was not the easiest person but invariably this person was at all times, fair and respectful. Words such as tough, hard and challenging were mentioned in the same breath. This person, in your case your uncle, allowed you to feel okay about who you are. Nothing else matters.
Brene’ Brown suggests that those who ‘manage life’ just accept that they are vulnerable human beings, but still worth loving. You might enjoy looking at her You Tube video – google Brene’ Brown TED.
thanks for you story.
TOC