My uncle passed away six years ago and is still sorely missed by me (he was also my friend, mentor and guardian).
He once said to me about friendship (and he repeated this often to me over time), ‘your friends are a reflection of you and your character and not by valuing them alongside wealth, status, politics, ego, religion or measuring yourself against them…..no, he would say, absolutely not……a friend is a rare human being in one’s life, they are to be cherished, as if you are caring and responsible for someone’s young child. For true friendship is constant and without prejudicial boundaries, generous in spirit, carries a compassionate heart and lives in our minds alongside the endless thoughts we have….because you, my dear friendship…..always will have a place to belong amongst those many thoughts I carry’.
And then he would say this to me….
‘And also remember this Sam….there is no specific process or finish line with friendship, the relationship is an ongoing and unfulfilled duty, even after you are gone. For friendship is also a series of endless lessons for each other and like education it never ends’.
My uncle was the only immediate family male member I had growing up from boyhood into an adult. He was a difficult man at times (under the constant strain of looking after me) and wasn’t very easy to live with (replacing my father and being my guardian), but he did provide me with solid, honest and good advice about friendship, generosity, compassion, sincerity and being a decent person in society…..much more then my father ever did and still today I haven’t met anyone as giving (as my uncle was), with this sort of precious and valuable advice….something we all should have as human beings, men and hopefully someday as good mentors in our community (to pass on).
