I’ve been watching the What Makes a Man DVD all day. They are all very good but I particularly like the Brendan Fletcher segment. Something that really struck a chord with me was the term ‘broken men’. I don’t even recall who used this term. As a social worker of 30 years standing I have met many, many broken men (and women of course). I also meet many broken men in my own life, including my partner who is himself the wounded son of a broken man. He is also struggling with his mental health because of the brutality and sexual abuse he experienced at the hands of the Marist Brothers in Parramatta, NSW in the 1960s and 70s. I feel for him desperately but I have also had to take on the role of being a carer for him which has impacted significantly on the quality of my own life. I bet there are many women out there who are in the same position.
As these men age and become frail they need care themselves. I know many women and men of my age who are thrust into the role of being full-time carers of their own fathers who were abusive to their children (due to their own history of abuse) or partners who are distant and possibly abusive due to their history of relationships with broken men (and broken women). The older generation are very unlikely to seek help but I hope projects such as this one can encourage the younger generation to find the support they need to break the link between broken fathers and wounded sons. This DVD should be compulsory viewing for teenagers of both genders – of course with the support of caring teachers or school support staff. I’d like to think that the systemic and personal abuse suffered by my partner is something that doesn’t happen any more but I know from my work role that this is probably a fantasy. In fact, young men (and women) are increasingly locked out of employment roles that provide an opportunity for them to contribute their skills and capacities to families and the broader community due to the degradation caused by economic and political factors.
I really appreciate the effort that this project has taken to identify the issues discussed in this DVD.